How long, O God?

Have you ever found yourself lamenting in prayer this phrase?

Nearly two decades ago I assumed the online name / alter ego Jael. The Old Testament story of her courage in exposing an evil man spoke to me at a deep, spiritual level. I wanted to be Jael. I wanted to have her strength and bravery. I wanted her story to be my story (Judges 4:1-23, 5:1-31).

But it wasn’t.

I wasn’t brave; I was weak.

Scared.

Silenced.

I struggled back then to understand my worth. It was never said aloud to me, but hidden actions screamed that I was less than, insignificant, an object to be used and abused. I longed to be accepted and protected. I confused being desired with being loved.

All these years later and I am still trying to heal from those wounds. They claw at my mind in the dark as I struggle to retreat into sleep. I wake in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, heart racing, eyes leaking memories of things I’d much rather forget.

How long, O God?

Turning on the TV or browsing social media has been super triggering lately. Story after story of (men and) women coming forward with claims of sexual harassment, rape and abuse. Cries of “me too!” and “church too!” echo off the lips of the sons and daughters of the Holy One. I want so badly to turn it off. Figuratively and quite literally. But, I can’t. And, isn’t this what I prayed for? Didn’t I beg God to bring these atrocities to light? Isn’t this a clear answer to a very recent prayer?

Why then does it seem like He’s so distant. Is there unconfessed sin in my heart, Lord? Bring it to mind if there is so I can confess it! This distance and silence is breaking me. I am crumbling under the weight of a load I was never meant to carry.

Did I do the wrong thing? Was it not your will for me to finally speak out? Did I go about it the wrong way? Have I burdened the leadership of your church and caused them to distance themselves and shun me? Is this guilt and shame I am feeling simply an attack from the enemy?

How long, O God?

I retreat to the quiet places and look for you. I pick up the bible and read, but my heart is only temporarily softened. It’s as if my entire being has turned into a hardened sponge and only drops of water are being absorbed at a time. I spend hours reading, praying, seeking, begging God for relief.

Is that the problem? Is it that I idolize relief and comfort over truly knowing You, Lord? Have I fallen into that trap again? If so, I beg You God, break me of that habit and give me eyes to see You in a way I haven’t before. Humble me, Lord. Break down my pride and subdue me. Do whatever it takes! I still struggle to trust You over my feelings, Lord. Give me the power to persevere, believe, and obey. Help me to make this life more all about You and less not about me!

“One by one, we come to God–young and old, wealthy and homeless. Not one of us is alike, yet we’re the same. We’re all learning to live the life God promised, and longing to be fulfilled.” -Danise Jurado, Fulfilled

We live in a my way, right away kind of world. All you need to do in order to see what I mean is flip on the television. It won’t take long before you are completely inundated with marketing ploys designed to birth thoughts of discontent:

My phone doesn’t have a screen that big, or a network that fast.

If only my spouse behaved more like that.

I wish I had a body like hers!

If only ______ were different in my life, I would be happy. Fulfilled.

But, there’s a problem with this train of thought…

We have an eternal void that can only be filled in Christ.

The world around us can’t satisfy us. We exhaust ourselves trying to shove worldly possessions and achievements in the God sized hole in our heart.

When we take good things and make them ultimate things, we set ourselves up to feel discontent. Simply put, if we seek our contentment in anything other than Christ, we will never live the life God promised, a life Fulfilled.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6).”

The deep longing each of us has to be fulfilled is a symptom of a heart that is disconnected from God.

As I was reading through Danise Jurado’s new book, “Fulfilled: Learning to Live the Life God Promised,” I was immeasurably blessed by how beautifully each chapter drove home the truth that our biggest need has already been fulfilled in Christ.

The first two chapters entitled “Forgiveness” and “Restoration” brought me to tears on more than one occasion. This past November I came to know the Lord, and finally found my identity in Christ. The years leading up to my salvation had been rough ones. In receiving God’s grace, I realized I had to make peace with painful experiences from my past, and forgive those who had wronged or hurt me. It’s been almost a year and I can honestly say that I haven’t looked back.

But, as Danise states so perfectly:

“God began to show me that true forgiveness is so much more than just simply forcing hurtful memories out of my mind (Fulfilled, page 16).”

And,

“It’s difficult to feel complete when your life is filled with broken pieces. God mends the shattered fragments through the beautiful and sometimes painful process of restoration (Fulfilled, page 17).”

We counter a discontent heart with God’s promises and truth.

Throughout the book, Danise shares both personal stories and practical applications to help readers identify sin in their lives and learn to live the life God promised. Her transparency in sharing makes it easy to relate. Quite often, I found myself thinking, “ME TOO!” And, I’ve already started to incorporate some of the practical steps she gives in order to fill my personal needs with God’s Truth.

Breaking free from old mindsets and destructive behavior can be difficult. Danise explains that once we identify the lies we believe, replace them with God’s Truth, and pray for God’s guidance throughout the process, we gain “control of the runaway train or roller coaster that once dictated our lives (Fulfilled, page 49).”

“Freedom is a gift that God freely and lovingly gives to all of His children through Christ Jesus, but it is also very much our daily choice (Danise Jurado, Fulfilled).”

We must chose freedom in Christ.

Don’t live your life in vain pursuit of possessions, achievements or attainments! They were never meant to eternally fulfill you. God warns us against this heart condition in the book of Matthew:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:19-21).”

“Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty (John 6:35).”

Instead, be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).”

“God has provided all we need to stand firm (Danise Jurado, Fulfilled).”

When we learn to live a life fulfilled in Christ, we awaken our complete God given potential. We find Contentment. Freedom. Restoration. Hope. Courage.

If you have ever felt like you needed some positive change in your life, or have tried to change but were unsuccessful, then this is definitely the book for you! With 119 pages and 13 chapters, Fulfilled book is an easy read for the avid reader like me, as well as those who rarely pick up a book.

The official release date is August 25th (one short week away), but you can pre-order on Amazon HERE. 50% of the net proceeds are being donated to LA Dream Center, where Danise has served as Director of the Transitions Program and as a Pastoral Counselor since 2001.

INTERESTED IN WINNING A SIGNED COPY OF FULFILLED?

Comment below before EOD Tuesday, August 25th to register to win. I will announce the winner, here, Wednesday, August 26th!

Update:  CONGRATULATIONS TO KRISTINE THE FULFILLED BOOK GIVEAWAY WINNER!

Interested in learning more and staying connected with Danise?

Visit:
http://www.danisejurado.com/
http://www.facebook.com/danise.jurado
http://twitter.com/danisejurado
http://instagram.com/danisejurado/
http://plus.google.com/107630617221985894581/
http://www.pinterest.com/danisejurado/

Special thanks to Danise Jurado and Kaitlyn Bouchillon for the graphics and for giving me the opportunity to review my first book. It was an honor to preview this awesome work God breathed through you, Danise. Two BIG thumbs up!

ATTENTION!!!! If you were a victim of abuse at Victory Church, it’s not too late, please! consider joining these most recent victims who are bravely speaking up. You are not alone. The Sheriff’s Office encourages other possible victims to come forward. They may do so by calling 9-1-1 or calling the Monroe County Sheriffs office directly at (585) 753-4400. 

NEW, RELATED POST: Former Sr. Pastor of Victory Church in Henrietta NY (Joe Burress Sr.) has plead guilty to sexually abusing children

Since the inception of this blog (January 2015), I have been faithfully writing on a daily basis, with blog posts written on my “good days” and scheduled in advance, to ensure seamless content being published. Unfortunately, around the beginning of Lent I started to struggle again, both emotionally and physically. It would be putting it lightly to say the last couple months, especially the month of April, have been extremely tough for me.

While I strive to be transparent in my writing, I don’t usually get too personal with my blog posts. Today’s post will break that trend. This month the Lord has put it on my heart to dig deep and share in a way that I am super uncomfortable. Even if there is only one of you out there that can identify, I know it’s worth making myself vulnerable. If you find yourself relating as you read along, this blog post was probably meant for you!

April marks the end of Lent and celebration of Easter. Here in New York, flowers begin to break ground and the Birds return, waking us with their beautiful song.

April is a month that points to new life and new beginnings. I was born in April. I’m an April Fool’s baby.

April is also Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I am a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse.

“Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear about your past, so it doesn’t become their future.” ~Jon Acuff

I don’t remember much from my childhood, but I remember a man in my church who befriended kids. He was probably in his mid to late 30’s at the time and married to a woman named Sharyn. They both lived with Sharyn’s mom, Grace, in Honeoye Falls, NY. He was a tall, charismatic man who wore suits that looked like they were from the 60’s. Powdered pink. Baby blue. His hair was dark, parted to the right, and slicked back, like Ward Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver. He had a smile that would rival Mr. Rogers’. Most of the adults in the church seemed to really like and respect him. Steve Erickson. The name of my first abuser. He had his favorites and I was one of them.

When I turned eleven the repeated sexual abuse I experienced at the hands of this man finally stopped. The pastor’s son caught him trying to grope me in the back hallway of our church and confronted him. He told Steve to leave me alone or he would tell everyone what he had been doing.

It wasn’t long after this confrontation that the pastor’s daughter befriended me. She invited me over for a sleepover. It was the first time I had ever spent the night away from home.

One night when I was sleeping over, her brother, the same boy who had saved me from my first abuser, snuck into her bedroom. We were both asleep. He woke me up with an ugly goblin looking puppet (Boglin) and motioned for me to be quiet so as not to wake up anyone else.

He proceeded to touch me as I lay in his sister’s bed.

He had saved me from my first abuser, so I trusted him.

He told me he liked me.

I was too young to realize he was abusing me too.

For the next five years this abuse continued on and off, only at the time I thought I was in love. I would do anything this boy asked me to and he would use our little secret to control me. Our “relationship” continued until he finally went away to bible college.

It was the month of April when I saw this boy again. Only he was no longer a boy. He was now married.  More than five years had passed. He and his wife had moved back to New York after attending bible college in Missouri. His father, the pastor at the time, had recruited them to run a young adult group for the church.

His life seemed to be going so well, while my life was falling apart. I was twenty-one and a single mom at the time. I had just moved in with a my boyfriend who was a drug dealer and ex-convict. I had turned from the church and the things of God long before his return.

This man and his wife started to call me at home. I remember dodging their calls for months. I had heard through the grapevine they were trying to recruit young adults to attend their new church group and I had no interest in joining. When things between my live-in boyfriend and I started to get rocky (ex: he was physically and emotionally abusive), I finally gave in and revisited my childhood church.

Despite being married, the pastor’s son (my childhood “hero” and “first love”) took special interest in me. He convinced me to break things off with my boyfriend and even recruited a bunch of men from the church to move me back into my parent’s home.

It didn’t take long for him to find ways to spend time alone with me. He convinced his wife to get a part time job as a waitress and to take on ballroom dance lessons.

I am ashamed to admit that up to this point I had never read the bible on my own. I was ruled by my emotions and easily believed his lies. It didn’t take long for him to convince me to take part in an adulterous affair.

He made me believe he loved me and would have married me, but that his father forced him to get married to this woman because they were having premarital sex.

He would use bible verses to deceive me into believing that in God’s eyes WE were married first because of the sexual things he had done to me as a kid.

He would use manipulative tactics to make me feel sorry for him, stating his wife didn’t love him and that she had already cheated on him.

He told me she made him wife swap with another couple when they lived in Missouri and that’s why they had to move back to New York (please see comments section below where it’s clarified that it was actually him that convinced her to take part in this).

He used scripture to imply that in God’s eyes they were already divorced.

He bought me jewelry and told me that it was “our little secret.”

He made up stories for me to tell about where I got the jewelry, how I was spending my time, and instructed me to repeat the stories to anyone that asked.

Within six months of moving back home, he and his wife divorced.

It didn’t take long for members of the church to start hearing rumors about the pastor’s son and his ex-wife. His father, the pastor, approached me privately. He made me aware of a deacon meeting that was going to be held to vote as to whether or not his son should step down from leadership.

The pastor convinced me to rally the troops to protest this decision. He asked me to get all the young adults in our church group to write up a testimony about how his son had helped them grow in the Lord since his return to New york. I was naive and eager to earn his respect, so I agreed to take part in his.

The deacon board voted and it was agreed that his son could stay on staff as the young adult leader.

There was a huge split within our church and those that opposed his staying on staff ended up leaving the church.

Shortly after, the pastor’s son and I ended up dating publicly, but the relationship didn’t last.  I started to study the bible for myself, and he quickly became physically abusive any time I challenged his manipulative and sinful ways. I resorted to coping behaviors I had learned while he was away at college.

One time he caught me out drinking alone. He was livid. He forced me to ride home with him to my parents house where I was still living. On the way we got into an argument and I tried to jump out of the vehicle as it approached  a red light. He caught me by the hair and pulled me back into the vehicle and proceeded to choke me out (the rear naked choke hold he used is a blood choke hold he practiced in his Mixed Martial Arts).

I wish I could say I wised up and left him after this incident, but I didn’t. I broke things off for a while, but he was relentless with his apologies and in pursuing me. I was eventually lured back into the relationship. It took yet another altercation where he knocked me out cold in front of my two year old daughter before I attempted to seek help.

That April, I wrote a letter to the director of counseling of the church and explained everything that had transpired over the last year, including how the relationship began in adultery and details of the physical abuse I endured.

What I didn’t know at the time was that I was not the only women the pastor’s son had been grooming. While he went on to publicly date me for the first time, he was seeing another women behind the scenes. The neighbor of his divorce attorney. Three months after I broke things off with him, he went on to marry her.

That didn’t stop him from attempting to pursue me again several times after his second marriage, and even after I was married myself.

At my husbands suggestion, I reached out to the director of counseling, again, to make him aware. The counselor was (and still is) good friends with the pastor and his son. I realize now this individual was more concerned with the church image and protecting the pastor and his family because nothing was done to address anything that I reported to him.

My first abuser went on to adopt a little girl. She is currently sixteen. I can’t fathom the heinous things that poor girl has faced at the hands of her adoptive father. My childhood church could have engaged law enforcement when I finally came forward about him, but they chose to handle the claim internally within the church instead.

My second abuser, the pastor’s son, went on to allegedly abuse a sixteen year old girl, a German foreign exchange student who was living with him and his wife at the time. A young man and his wife’s sisters had previously come forward to say they had been sexually abused by him too. Despite media attention surrounding these “sexual abuse allegations” he was promoted to head pastor and continues to maintain his innocence.

It has taken years of counseling for me to realize how deeply the grooming of these two abusers affected me. To this day I have night terrors, panic attacks, severe social anxiety, and issues trusting people in authority.

Some days are tougher than others. On the days I find myself struggling, I use that energy to pray for my abusers and for others like me.

I am a survivor.

I am not perfect.

I am not without sin.

The same God who sent His son to die on the cross as payment for my sins died for my abuser’s sins too.

If you are a survivor of sexual assault or abuse and have remained silent, I want to encourage you to speak out.

I lived in fear and silence for years… No more!

Those who abused me no longer have power over me. Their lies no longer control me. I refuse to allow my past to master me.

God is faithful and promises to bring truth into the light.

“For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open (Luke 8:17).”

Please, Lord, protect the hearts of those closest to this story and comfort those who may still be hurting.  I know you allowed for even the darkest moments of my life to draw others and myself closer to you. Thank you for the heart of compassion you have given me, especially for survivors of sexual assault and abuse. Thank you for being a shelter for the weak, and refuge for the oppressed. I pray those reading this who are still seeking will put their hope and trust in you. I pray this all for your glory, Lord, in Jesus name, Amen!

*RELATED POST – We Have This Hope: My Story of Sexual Abuse & Salvation

*updated July 3, 2017 to include a ping back to Brent Brookhouse with Vox Media’s investigative article on Victory Church and make timeline corrections regarding German foreign exchange student reporting timeline, as per her own account in the comment section below. Please also note, Paul Burress was fired from Victory Church in June 2017 after additional allegations were made. His father, Joe Burress Sr. was reinstated as head pastor in the interim.

**September 11, 2017 – update:
Paul Burress was arrested on Friday and faces two counts of forcible touching (source: Democrat & Chronicle, USA Today).

***September 12, 2017 – update:
local tv news station reporting (13WHAM video)
local radio interview with recent accuser (Radio 95.1 video)

****September 15, 2017 – update:
local tv news station interviews a second accuser where explicit allegations are revealed (13WHAM)
two additional charges – additional victims come forward (Democrat & Chronicle, 13WHAM)

****September 19, 2017 – update:
Paul Burress – Criminal Complaint
pleads not guilty to forcible touching (Democrat & Chronicle, 13WHAM)

****October 26, 2017 – update:
According to the DA’s office, “nothing of substance happened in court tonight and the case was adjourned to November 27.”

****November 27, 2017 – update:
According to a representative with the Hentietta Town Court, nothing of substance happened in court and the case was adjourned (again) to January 18, 2018.

****January 18, 2018 – update: According to a Henrietta Town Court Representative, (they still could not come to a plea deal or the lawyer in the case requested more time, so) court was adjourned until February 26 @ 5pm.

****February 26, 2018 – update: I spoke to a Henrietta Town Court Representative who advised court was adjourned (again) until March 14 @ 5pm.  Prayer Warriors: Please continue to pray for all of those affected by this!!!!

Update #2:  A source present at court last night let me know that there is a plea deal on the table that would involve one year probation (laughable), sex offender status (unfortunately NOT a level that requires registry), and an order of protection for the victims (which actually has already been in place since around the time the charges were filed).

***March 14, 2018 – update: Paul Burress, Henrietta Fight Church Pastor who faced four counts of forcible touching, accepted a plea deal in Henrietta, NY town court tonight (B Misdemeanor, Sexual Abuse 3rd. One year probation as a sex offender. On his record permanently (13WHAM, Democrat & Chronicle, Christian Post)).

Paul is scheduled to return to court for sentencng on May 29th (13WHAM).

June 4, 2021 NEW, RELATED POST: Former Sr. Pastor of Victory Church in Henrietta NY (Joe Burress Sr.) has plead guilty to sexually abusing children

ATTENTION!!!! If you were a victim of abuse at Victory Church, it’s not too late, please! consider joining these most recent victims who are bravely speaking up. You are not alone. The Sheriff’s Office encourages other possible victims to come forward. They may do so by calling 9-1-1 or calling the Monroe County Sheriffs office directly at (585) 753-4400.

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

 

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).”

In the Hebrew translation, the word “brokenhearted” is actually translated from two words. One meaning “shattered” and the other meaning “the inner man.” To put it another way, when we are brokenhearted, it feels as though our inner self has been pulverized into a thousand tiny pieces.

We’ve all been there before. The emptiness that looms makes it feel as though our entire world is falling apart. A void that refuses to be filled. Sorrow that cannot be comforted. Tears that feel like they will never dry up.

Broken.
Shattered.

It’s one thing to mourn a friendship that has gone south or to be discouraged after a quarrel with a loved one. It’s quite another to be devastated by abuse, unfaithfulness, abandonment, or deception.

Maybe you can relate in another way. Have you ever lost a job? A loved one? Experience a financial setback or health issue?

Growing up, I experienced many things that most would consider neglect or abuse. As an adolescent, I struggled with setting healthy boundaries, so the perceived injustices continued. I am married now and have two wonderful kids. This past November I came to know the Lord and was baptized. I’d love to say that I’m living happily ever after and that my past doesn’t still haunt me, but that would be the furthest thing from the truth. There are still days where the night terrors, insomnia, and mommy meltdowns are inevitable.

Regardless of the source of your pain, we must accept that God sees, He knows, He loves, and is at work even in the worst, most vile experiences in life. The Lord has used some of the darker moments in my life to wrap his arms around me and shower me with His unconditional love and grace. He’s used The Word to speak to my broken heart and show me that growth is a process.

No one is instantly mature, spiritually speaking, once they accept Christ as Savior. We are new creations in Christ Jesus; however, we still need to undergo a refining process in order to grow into His likeness.

Regardless of where you are in your walk with God,
the spiritual growth process includes brokenness.

After periods of brokenness, our lives can prove to be the most fruitful and have the most purpose, but we must first confront why God has allowed us to be broken in the first place.

Sometimes brokenness is a direct result of our unconfessed sin. Other times it may be due to the sins of others. Consider the story of Job, where God momentarily stepped aside and allowed an absence of His light. Regardless of the way it plays out, brokenness happens in order for God’s divine will to be accomplished.

The easy thing to do in these difficult circumstances would be to pray for God to remove us from the source of pain or spare us altogether.  But, God is more interested in changing our heart’s desire than giving us our heart’s desire.

He created us for Himself.
We were made to bring Him glory.

God may not pull us out of every storm in life, but He promises to carry us through them and give us the strength we need to endure. We simply need to abide in Him, submit to His will, and ask what He’s looking to teach us in the process. He knows our hearts before we even call out on His name.

“Before they call I will answer, while they are yet speaking I will hear (Isaiah 65:24).”

I recently started using music as a way to pray (thanks for the idea Tai East). There was a song I had on repeat this week by Hillsong called “Take Heart.” The lyrics of which are powerful and speak to moments of brokenness. The chorus moved me to tears and the Spirit really used the lyrics to speak to my  heart:

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failure
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome

All our heartache
And all our pain
God our healer
He has overcome

All our burdens
And all our shame
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our justice
God our grace
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our refuge
God our strength
God is with us
He has overcome

There is nothing like a season of brokenness to humble and remind  that while justified in the eyes of The Lord, we are still sinful human beings. Once saved, we may be freed from the clutches of the enemy and no longer in bondage to sin, but we still need to continually seek out what it means to live in a right relationship with God. This process allows us to lift God and Christ crucified up to a higher level in our lives than ever before. It helps us to continually work out the sin in our life, and come to a deeper understanding of His divine character and grace.

After we endure our greatest brokenness,
we experience the deepest blessings.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).”

Father, I want to thank you for the moments you are present even when I lose focus. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your grace. You see the end of my brokenness and know the blessings you have in store are worth the wait. Help me to yield to your will and the purpose you have in store for my life. Let me surrender to your desires and in the process become more like You.  In Jesus name, amen!

Note: this post is adapted from a book I read back in my early twenties. If any of what I wrote tugs at your heart I’d like to highly recommend the book that inspired this post, The Blessings of Brokenness, by Charles Stanley.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
~Norman Vincent Peale

The idea of mindfulness was brought up in a recent conversation and it got me to thinking. The enemy sure is good at what he does. He isn’t going to dangle a carrot in front of our noses unless he knows it’s one that we’d be quick to gobble up.

For me personally, negative self talk can be the enemy’s weapon of choice. The hook is always hidden in the bait. If I allow negative thoughts to rule my mind, he will attack it and with it my heart. I’ve learned the hard way this is an area I need to guard against (Ephesians 6:10-18).

If you find yourself constantly dwelling on your problems, or allowing negative thoughts to take space in your mind, don’t be surprised if you also find yourself living in perpetual discouragement or defeat. What you think, you say, and what you say, you do.

“Our faith is really proven in the way we talk to ourselves.
The loudest human voice you will listen to is your own.
Choose your words wisely.” ~Christine Caine

If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything (1 John 3:20).”

Don’t get trapped in the negative thoughts cycle! Over thinking will not overcome fear, but God’s perfect love will.

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me (John 14:1).”

“Do not let” is a volitional phrase, meaning the choice is ours. That’s good news!

Faith refuses to stress over and focus on the problem. Instead, faith rests on the promises of God.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:6-9).”

“Obey your way into the feeling. Don’t feel your way into obedience.” -Steve Gaines

Worry and fear are good indicators you’ve stopped trusting God with your problems. What kind of thoughts have you allowed to ruminate? Are you meditating on God’s Word and having faith in His promises? Or, are you allowing the enemy to defeat you with negative self talk that leads to worry and fear?

“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature (Galatians 5:16).”

Forgive me, Lord, for the times I’ve believed the lies of the enemy instead of trusting in You. I pray for those struggling in their faith, Father. I pray for those struggling with negative self talk. Cover them with Your peace that passes all understanding. Reveal to them your presence and Truth. When the things going on in the world around us get dark, let us remember that You are still in control. You have overcome! You are always good; You are always faithful. In Jesus name, Amen!